You Can (Not) Redo
by sanctum-c
Summary: Alternis confronts his opponent on the deck of the Grand Ship.


Alternis lifted his head as the smoke reached him. The Grandship was on fire, creaking and burning around him. Edea's body was almost within arm's reach, her companions scattered about the deck, all as lifeless as her. And above them, her mocking laughter still echoing in his ears, was the monstrous true form of the fairy. Movement felt like an impossibility, the armour only serving to pin him down. Some bleak part of him wanted to lie with the others and wait for death. Wait for the fire to consume him or for the deck to give way. He would die here alongside Edea, a penitence for his failure to keep her safe. No. She would frown on that kind of fatalistic attitude. He had to try something, anything. Had to stop that creature before it could do this again. The notion of many worlds each existing separate from the next was still so new, so hard to grasp in its entirety. But if it was true, if that marking on the fairy's wing was a countdown to something worse than this then how could he allow her to continue? There were other Edeas out there, others that this monstrous form could slaughter. He could not allow her to. He could not allow the six to become a five.

He felt so weak as his hands groped for catches and pulled the gauntlets off. Hands free, he struggled to find the edges of his chest plate. As he discarded each segment it became easier to move. He removed the helmet last, taking a deep breath as the destruction of Grand Ship grew louder. Smoke had made the air hazy, the fires close now and the flames licking close to the fallen warriors. He wanted to do something for them but there was no time left. It was unfair to judge them for their trust in the fairy - he had never articulated the truth, never stopped to explain what he knew. His legs were stiff, his hands weak and almost incapable of gripping his sword. Like a talisman he still held his journal. His rendering of the horrific creature and the numeral on it's wing marked the end of this volume. How many Alternis Dim's had there been before? How many had this thing killed? How many had been here before him, found themselves at this juncture with too little time and no idea of what how to stop the enemy? It did not bear thinking about. He needed to do something, anything. None of his predecessors had left him a hint or notion of what had not worked before. Maybe none of them ever reached this point. Maybe he was the first.

Alternis stood up, his movement attracting the creature's attention.

"So you survived this time," she sneered. "Not for much longer." Alternis remained silent as she floated lower, her bulk making the deck creak.

"I cannot let you continue," Alternis said, preparing himself for one desperate strike.

Airy chuckled, the noise soon breaking into outright mocking laughter. "You? You cannot let me continue? You have no idea what you are opposing." Her smile widened, now vindictive. "And you have no idea how many times you've said that to me."

His blood ran cold. It was one thing to suspect the repetition, that other versions of himself might have fallen in this way. It was another to see the killer confirm it, mocking his rebellion. "I don't care," he hissed through gritted teeth. "It ends now." With a snarl he darted forward, sword held ready. He resisted the urge to glance at Edea's fallen form. The monster watched him with disinterest. He almost faltered, his mind whirling with second guesses. Was her attitude because she knew what always followed or was it rather her attempt to convince him of that notion? Was it still possible that not one of his past lives had tried this? Had she killed that many of him? Of Edea? Of the last vestal and the shepherd?

He was a few steps away when the blow landed. Her limb moved with blurred speed, smacking into his mid-section, his sword flying from his hand. He fell backwards, watching Airy recede as his ribs ached. Somehow he still held the journal. Somehow he was not yet dead. He waited for the pain of his back striking the deck, convinced that would be the end of him. It never came. Instead he fell further and the edge of the Grandship rose above him, towering at a greater and greater height. The fairy had knocked him over the rail and there was no hope any more. The glow from the pillar of light was all around him, blinding him. The wind roared past his head now and he closed his eyes. How long until he hit the sea? How long did he have left?

He hugged the journal to his chest. Maybe the next Alternis would be more successful. He wanted to talk to him. Wanted to pass on everything he had learned and stop anything like this happening again. If it was him; if he could have this time all over again he would be different. He would spend more time with Edea. He would ditch that heavy black armour he used to keep everyone away. If he could go further back, control everything he wanted the years when he thought of nothing but duty and servitude back. There was no avoiding that he needed to repay Braev for rescuing him. But now he reflected back on his life, there was little but repetition. Always obeying orders, carrying out duties and never daring to confess his feelings for Edea. He wished he had told her, no matter how she might have responded. Even if she had turned him down then at least he would not have this regret. He should have lived and left his past behind him. Been free and not shackled by the sorrows of his life in Florem.

The glow from the pillar of light seemed to be everywhere now, creeping under his eyelids as he screwed them up. There was a moment when the wind seemed to die around him, his plummet to earth halted and when the light was at its brightest. For a second he floated on a cushion of warm air, saved from harm by some impossible force. Alternis dared to hope for a moment that he might yet live. But the moment ended and the wind roared around him once more. Alternis's last thoughts were of everything he would say to Edea should be see her again.

Alternis Dim slammed into the ocean and lost himself.


End file.
